YOU AND YOUR BULLSHIT

You and your bullshit

Up to your knees and up to no good

And everything you say and do

And you and the bullshit are so well suited

To each other.

You and your bullshit

I’m fed up to here and you and your shit-faced grin

In and out of my life

Like my ex-wife who you must know

From your bullshit past.

You and your bullshit

In your Abercrombie rags drinking pink martinis

In retro lounges

Alone, because in the real world

Your bullshit repels.

You and your bullshit

In a spanky new mustang you borrowed

to drive through McDonalds to share a Value Meal

with a girl who by now

wishes she was dead.

You and your bullshit

And your “love of jazz” as if you even know

Who Chet Baker is or that Elvis Costello hired him to play a trumpet solo

On his 1983 album “Punch the clock” on the song “Shipbuilding”.

(Anyone who claims to know jazz, should know that Elvis Costello

Hired Chet Baker to play a trumpet solo on his 1983 album “Punch the Clock”

On the song “Shipbuilding”)

So I call bullshit.

You and your bullshit

When does it ever end and who do you think

Believes any of it except you

And your bullshit

And your make-believe bullshit world.

You and your bullshit

Might change the world if it could be tapped

and used to fuel cars or clean water or

convince cancer cells to stop growing

(though the way you tell it, it already does.)

You and your bullshit

Was mentioned on the Discovery Channel yesterday

Because the janitor at the International Space Station

Smelled something bad and determined

it was you,

and your incredible, ruthlessly and unrelentingly annoying

bullshit.